So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
