Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
