you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
