She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
