i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
