Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
there is glitter all over my balls
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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