Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
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