so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize