it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!