The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
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you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
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A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?