i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.