Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
