you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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