Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
