like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
