i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
