Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
