We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
