Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
