dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
