So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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