I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
