i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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