Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I think I sprained my soul last night
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
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