did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
