i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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