I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
