ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
