good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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