i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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