Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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