Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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