i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
