I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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