I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
