She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
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They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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