i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
