goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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