omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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