I hope mine doesn't look like that
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
