Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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