i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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