You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
