i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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