Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
