Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
