you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
