i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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