it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
