Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
