Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Is it because I queefed?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
