I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
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