If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
