Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
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