He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
