Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Randomize
