oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
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