i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Randomize
