He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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