sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
