Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
