My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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