you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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