Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
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