At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Found your dick twin last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize