I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
