M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
