his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
