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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
